A Labile Dreamer

Since I knew how the capture of the world is

Surely I have traveled far away

Hunting for my own path, asking for other’s help

No one’s found the answer yet, they just watching on what I’ve done

May be that’s the reason why the birds sang by their own willing

That’s why flowers bloom by themselves

And the reason why I am standing on this point now

It was all just for our own sake, who care?

Even until this day I can’t identify my blurry dreams

Nobody help me to translate them

It was weird having these unstable dreams

New Year means ‘New Dreams’ for me

Surgeon on 2010, 2011 desiring to be a governmental speaker

Finally Korean wave injected me early this year

Till this nearly year-end, Korean singer is where I put my hands up

I can’t ever be brave to create my steady dreams

Even more I can’t ever be brave just to trust my self

Thinking I was born on the unlucky day,

Thinking this world is a wrong place for an unstable dreamer

Even there will be no small dream granted as my wish

I know it’s at risk to have no big end in mind for this time

I like this way, where I’ve been set free, when I’ve faced this long path

Although my hands are small, and my brain is too small to hold a clear dream

But I promise I will always stand sturdily here, on my own feet

Cause I was born to be part of the world

Cause I am proud enough to be a “Labile Dreamer”

Little Seoul Girl

                It sounds impossible wishing that I was born and grew at South Korea. As I am 15 years old now, maybe when I was born there was still nothing special from K-pop. But I am sure that if I were living there, at my 9^th I will proudly go to SM Entertainment office to register on its audition. No matter how talented I was, the most important thing is I could do what I want to do, become a singer and dancer. I want them to choose and take me as their trainee, who have guaranteed will be raised as their artist. My wildest dream is to be a member of girl group or moreover become solo singer at South Korea which is nowadays have been well-known by people all over the world.

                Becoming one of SM trainee is not easy. A child must show up their talent on the audition, almost of them joint the audition at their 8^th-12^th which means that they have to sacrifice their time. Furthermore when they were accepted, every day after school they must go to the office and have rehearsal at least 5 hours a day on singing and dancing. On their 15^th they have to live at the dormitory and have longer rehearsal. This is the dangerous point, the one who are not strong enough will get sick or even kicked off from the management and of course will not have any debut.

                I always dreaming about that debut day when I enter into my new world, performing on my own stage, and of course hearing everybody  is shouting my name, raising my photos up, wishing I will see and wave my hands to them. I just want to get a debut, after I grew up as an artist, got a lot of awards, my songs stayed on the top position of K-Chart, then I will buy a luxurious apartment for my parents. After all of those luxuries, 2 latest important things that I want to do is marry with my first love boy, then send my parents to Mecca, their dreamland.

                I know that all of these things just a dream, and I have been ready if they are not come true. At least I ever know how is the feeling when I am trying hard to keep my passion stay flaming.

Life Is A Bet

                Since I was born in this world 15 years ago, I assume that live will always fun, full of happiness and no starving. I have that kind of paradigm because along my 14 years I almost never feel sad, and always happy. I don’t know is it my parents, my friends, or my environment that let me feel that. My parents almost give whatever I asked, you can say that I am a spoilt child. I always feel that I have a prosperous live. My father is a chief village, all people respect him. The most joyful thing is just because I am a chief village’s youngest daughter, they also respect me a lot and nobody dare to hurt me, even wherever I was some people are keeping me and becoming my bodyguards. As well as my friends on my Elementary School, they never say and do such an impolite act to me.

                This condition still continuous when I went to Junior High School. Although I studied far away from my village, when I went home all of the people stared friendly to me. In fact my father’s occupation has done when I was on the 2nd grade of Junior High School, they still treat me just like a princess.

                The condition started to change when I enter the Senior High School, I have to live alone `t a dormitory with everyone who has thousands differences. The worst thing is the school is 5 hours away from my house. It was really painful for me, moreover my mom. I heard that she like to cry because I was not with her.

                I tried hard to discover my own way to survive there, adapt and learn how is other’s character. It was hard at the first time, I almost gave up because I never success to keep my egoism and arrogance. Until I was on the 2nd grade I was difficult to heard other’s opinion, critics and push them to follow me. I know that i is a wrong action, but I don’t know why it was really hard to fight with my own bad character.

                It’s just like a bet from me to myself. More I put my braveness and my willing to fight on my bad characters, more I will get when I won, but if I lose I will get nothing. That’s why I try hard to fight on it, so that I will get great advantages.

This Is My Way to Feel Alive !